Episode 75: Gaslighting: Can you do it to yourself?
Transcript
00:06
Hi, I'm Thea Charles, and this is the push or pivot podcast. This podcast has interviews, stories and tools to inspire and guide you to put your fear aside and trust yourself through the push and pivots of your life.
00:44
A few years ago, if you mentioned gas lighting to me, I would have thought you were referring to the gas lights that line the Beacon Hill neighborhood in Boston. In 2021, we know that term is used to describe when a person manipulates information in such a way that the victim questions their memories, perceptions of reality and their beliefs. The term gaslighting is traced back to a 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton called Gaslight. The play was made into two movie versions, one British and one American in the 1940s. The story is a mystery thriller centered around newlywed couple, Paul and Bella Pol makes Bella feel like she is going crazy. By making her believe that she steals things, hears noises that are not there. And by isolating her from her family, I watched the British movie this weekend. And while I had an idea of what the movie was about, actually seeing Paul tear down Bella's reality, seeing how she questioned what she knew to be true, and ultimately accepting that she was crazy. And not being able to move forward without significant help kept me on the edge of my seat. You might be thinking, Thea, this podcast is about pushing and pivoting. Why are we talking about gaslighting? Well, after watching this movie, it got me thinking about how when we internalize stories that we or other people create, it makes you second guess your intuition. What you know to be true for you.
02:36
Have you been inspired by the story shared on the pusher pivot, but feeling a little stuck at your own crossroads. If only there were a guide to get unstuck. Well, I've made one just for you. six steps to help you recognize what is keeping you stuck and push you out of your rut. You can access it for free on my website, fear rebel.com slash run. That's th e a r e n e l.com slash ru t.
03:20
So while gaslighting might be an extreme example, holding on to limiting beliefs holds us back. Being aware of what your limiting beliefs are and where they came from, can help you get unstuck and be able to decide which way to go when you come to push or pivot moments in your life. Okay, so what exactly are limiting beliefs? limiting beliefs are beliefs that hold you back from reaching your highest potential. When your beliefs are limited, you're not able to see what's possible for you. These beliefs can be born from life experiences that were traumatic, and we prefer to not have them happen to us again. So we tell ourselves, we can't do whatever action that was related to that experience. How many of us know someone that tripped on words once in public, and then declare that they could never do public speaking again, or had a bad romantic relationship. And now they believe that they just get hurt in relationships, so they don't pursue them anymore. limiting beliefs can also come from your family, members of your family can instill their own beliefs and fears on you. When I had my clothing boutique, I cannot even begin to tell you how many women had limiting beliefs on what they could and could not wear. They'd come in and tell me that they love the look of a piece of clothing, and then would proceed to tell me why they could not wear it. Because their mom once said that horizontal stripes don't look great, or that a particular color just doesn't look good on their skin. They straight up wouldn't dry things until I would suggest that they try, look in the mirror, and then decide for themselves. So these beliefs were true. views that we pick up as children can shape how we show up in the world. It can tell us how we think about money, how we select our career, and so much more. We can even use our age to limit ourselves by feeling too young or too old to try something new or unexpected for our age. Basically, limiting beliefs stop you from taking action. You and I cannot control other people. But we can make an effort to not Gaslight ourselves into believing that we are limited. When you hear yourself say, I can't ask yourself why is this true? What would happen if I try? Take a step back and look at the possibilities before limiting yourself? Another word that can alert you to eliminate belief is hearing yourself think or say should what's behind what you should or should not do? Whose idea is it should is a word that is usually tied to rules or these rules holding you back. Obviously, a simple question to ask yourself may not stop your beliefs right away. questioning why you are holding yourself back is a continual practice. Being able to recognize your patterns and reminding yourself that the past does not define the future is the key to not gaslighting yourself and to start feeling limitless Thank you for listening I record to the push or pivot podcast I worked with a live if you enjoyed this episode I am subscribed by I heard please leave us a review the word to learn more about the show and to access the show notes or visit our website or pivot dollar clients towards their goal also love to hear from know what's holding them back share your thoughts and takeaways deeply on Instagram hearing someone okay without your limiting beliefs held Thank you for listening what and join us next time on the push podcast. Other life coaches get past their limiting beliefs of what their knees should be so that they can clearly articulate what they offer and get hired. If you want to get unstuck send me a DM to see how working together could stop you from gaslighting yourself.